Archive for October 27, 2010
Guys no pun intended, this is only for FUN, so read and enjoy!!! To all who understand the Hyderabadi Tehzeeb and andaaz!!!
In Hyderabad we have our own little Johnny. His name is Howla. His
father is ambitious to educate Howla. Howla goes to school in Tappa
Chabutra. Its principal was educated in Urdu high school and claims
that he passed tenth class! There is a school inspection the next day
and the conversation is as follows:
Teacher: Kal inispector ayinga. Kochanaa (questions) puchinga. Sab
achaa padkey aau. Koi galath answer deengaa naa tho main uske pairaan
thodtoom.
Howla: Iski maakki. Kyun aara inispector? Kaam nai hai usku? Kya
kochanaa puchta kathey?
Teacher : Abey tereku kaiku re, tu kal school aanaaich nai. Tu tera
moo khola to gaaliaan nikaltey. Tereku main absent nai daalthaum. Ghar
pe baithkey gotiyaan khel. Tu school aayingaa to inispector ke saamney
mere izzat ki biryaani karke khaaingaa tu.
So our Howla is excited, goes home and tells his father that he is not
going to school the next day.
Father: Yeah kyaa hai. ischool hai paan ka dabba hai? Gaand pe
maartaun(kick u on butt) saale tu ischool nai gaya to.
Howla: Arey Bava, mera teacher bola nakko aao bolke.
Father: Usku akhal hai? Begum suno! Howla ischool nai jayinga kathey
kal. Agar ischool nai gaya to kaise padhinga? Howla, agar tu kal
ischool nahin gaya naa, tere haathan pairaan thod daaltaum.
So Howla cries and finally agrees to go to school. Next day in school,
Teacher is very upset to see Howla back:
Teacher: Arey teri maakki. Nakko aao bole to bhi kaiko aaya re ?
Howla: Mera bava gaand phodtum bola ischool nai gaya to.
Teacher: offho?! Tera bava bola? Theek hai chal. Last bench pe baith
aur inispector aya to chchup jaa. Dikhnaich nai. Kuch bhi gadbad
karinga naa meri noukri lag jayingi.
So Howla goes to sit in the last bench hiding behind a tall guy.
Inspector comes for the visit.
Inspector: Adaab.
Teacher: Adaab saab. Bachen acha padrain saab. Kochchanaa puchey to
answeraan yun bolte.
Inspector: Abaa? Offo! Ithney kilever hai aapke bachchey? Achchaa, ek
bahuth easy sawaal – Hamarey body mein sab se nazook cheez kaun si
hai?
Teacher: Arey Imtiyaz tu bata rey!
Imtiyaz: Saab, Khaleja saab.
Inspector: Aisa! ….. woh kyun?
Imtiyaz: Saab, khaleja hai to sab kuch hota. Agar woh gaya naa, kuch
bhi nahin hota saab.
Inspector: Abaa, kya tez potta hai rey! Aur koi?
Teacher: Arey Akram, tu bata re.
Akram: Saab bheja saab. Bhejey ku khuch bhi hua to kuch yaad nahin
rehta saab. Haathaan pairaan kaam nai karthey, iscooter ku kick bhi
nai maar sakthey saab.
Inspector: Abey Teacher, kya kya padaaraa re inku tu. Chutiye ke
jaiseich answeraan bolrai naa!!
In the meantime Howla is trying very hard to hide but Inspector sees
him. He thinks Howla is hiding because he does not know the answer.
Inspector : Woh last bench pe yun jhuk ke baithaa naa woh pottey ka
naam kya hai?
Teacher: kaun saab? …….Woh! (iski bhain ku, kaiku dikhaa re tu)
Who Howla hai saab.
Inspector: Howla? Ye kya naam hai? Kahan-kahan se lagaathey re bhai
naamaan! Howla, woh lambu ke peechchey kaiku chchup raa tu?
Howla: Saab main moo khola to teacher maaringa saab.
Inspector: Tereku yaa mereku??
Teacher: Arey kya baath kar reh saab, main kaiku maarthaum aapku. Ye
potta ekdam badmaash hai saab, jhoot bolraa. Abey Howla, answer maloom
hain to bol nai tho khaamoosh baith jaa mere baap tere pau padthaum.
Howla: Saab sabse nazook cheez apne body mein Gaand hai saab.
Teacher: Allah!! Iney moo khola meri gaand lag gayi re!!!
Inspector: Abey kyaa to bhi bolra re! Sharam kar badon ke saamney
aisaich baathaan karthey! Yeich sikhaaye tumhaarey amma-bavaa? Gaand
kahaan kaa answer hai re?
Howla: Hau saab, gaand ich sabse naazook cheez hai. Kaiku boletho
wahaan pe dilli mein baamb phat tha …Yahan Hydrabad mein apni gaand
phat thi … ..Yahaan old city mein gadbadaan shuru hothey…wahaan
new city mein sabki gaand phat thi. Uttaa kaiku saab, main yeh answer
bolraun naa, mere teacher ki gaand phatri dekho!!!!
Total species assessed in = 5,490 (up by 2 since last year)
Total EXTINCT (EX) or EXTINCT in the WILD (EW) = 78 (1%) [EX = 76; EW = 2]
Total threatened = 1,142 (21%) [CRITICALLY ENDANGERED (CR) = 188; ENDANGERED (EN) = 449; VULNERABLE (VU) = 505]
Total NEAR THREATENED (NT) = 322 (6%).
Total DATA DEFICIENT (DD) = 837 (15%)
Total LEAST CONCERN (LC) = 3,111 (57%)
The ‘global extinction crisis’ has been in the news for a while now and conservationists are constantly throwing figures at us to illustrate the overwhelming scale of biodiversity loss. “Twenty-one percent of all known mammals, 29 percent of all known amphibians, 12 percent of all known birds, 35 percent of conifers and cycads, 17 percent of sharks and 27 percent of reef-building corals are threatened with extinction” – many of us could lose sleep over this alarming data. But what exactly does it mean? Who calculates these figures and how? How do we know that a particular species is Vulnerable, Endangered, or Extinct?
This data comes from the latest assessment of The IUCN Red List of Threatened Species™, the world’s most comprehensive inventory of the global conservation status of plants, animals and fungi and the most authoritative guide to the status of biological diversity. Although overwhelming, this information is extremely important to anyone who isn’t indifferent to the ongoing decline in biodiversity. It serves as the principal source of information on biodiversity for governments, the private sector and multilateral agencies, responsible for natural resource use, and environmental treaties.
Compiling this information involves the combined efforts of some of the best scientists in the world: the IUCN Species Survival Commission and Red List partner organizations. This is a network of some 7,000 species experts working in almost every country in the world. Altogether, this network holds what is probably the most complete scientific knowledge base on the biology and current conservation status of species. But how exactly does it work?
“To evaluate the extinction risk of thousands of species and subspecies, the IUCN Red List uses a set of quantitative criteria,” says Craig Hilton Taylor, IUCN Red List Unit Manager. “These criteria are relevant to all species and all regions of the world.”
There are nine categories in the IUCN Red List system: Extinct, Extinct in the Wild, Critically Endangered, Endangered, Vulnerable, Near Threatened, Least Concern, Data Deficient, and Not Evaluated. Species threatened with extinction – those that are Vulnerable, Endangered, and Critically Endangered – are classified into the categories through a set of criteria that form the heart of the system. These criteria are based on biological factors related to extinction risk, and include the rate of decline of the species, the size of its population, the area of its geographic distribution, and the degree to which the species’ population and distribution are fragmented and declining.
“Species assessments on The IUCN Red List are generated through a combination of on the ground data and the knowledge of thousands of the world’s leading species scientists,” says Caroline Pollock, IUCN Red List Programme Officer. “Contributions are made by members of IUCN’s Species Survival Commission, the IUCN Red List Partnership and other experts. We use statistical analyses to calculate the decline rate and population size of the assessed species.”
Based on this information, the Red List identifies and documents species that are most in need of conservation action. It also provides a global index of the decline of biodiversity and a baseline from which to monitor the future status of species. The information it contains is crucial when setting local conservation priorities and when guiding conservation action. It also helps influence national and international policy, and provides a scientific basis to international agreements such as the Convention on Biological Diversity (CBD) and the Convention on International Trade in Endangered Species of Wild Fauna and Flora (CITES).
While the Red List contains assessments of all known species of mammals, birds, amphibians, reef-building corals, freshwater crabs, cycads and conifers, the vast majority of the world’s species are still poorly represented, including many plants, invertebrates, reptiles, fishes and fungi. And there is still a lot to be discovered: globally, only 1.9 million species have been described, though the estimated number of species is thought to be somewhere between 10 and 20 million.
“Currently there are over 52,000 species on the IUCN Red List”, says Simon Stuart, Chair of IUCN Species Survival Commission. “The objective is to expand the Red List to include 160,000 species, making it more representative of the diversity of life, thus providing a solid base for conservation planning decisions. However, this will require a significant increase in funding as over USD 60 million would be needed to complete the assessments.”
Let us all resolve to save these very vulnerable and almost extinct and threatened animals!!! they have the right to live too!!!!
India has a rich diversity of over 1,200 species of tropical and temperate orchids, including many with floriculturally and therapeutically proven traits. The majority of them are, however, endangered due to unregulated commercial collection and habitat destruction.
To highlight this urgent issue and to draw up an action plan for the sustainable utilization of orchids, over 50 national experts from various fields took part in a two-day workshop organized by The Orchid Society of India (TOSI) with the support of IUCN India, the Ministry of Environment and Forests (MoEF), Govt. of India, and G.B. Pant Institute of Himalayan Environment and Development (GBPIHED). This national conference on ‘Systematics and Diversity Analysis for Conservation and Sustainable Utilization of Orchids’ was held during 19–21 March 2010 at GBPIHED, Kosi-Katarmal, Almora.
The participants included Dr Manju Sharma (President, TOSI), Prof. Mohan Ram (Delhi University), Dr J.S. Rawat (Coordinator, Programmes & Constituency, IUCN India), Dr L.M.S. Palni (Director of GBPIHED), Prof. S.P. Vij (Founder Secretary of TOSI) and Mr U.C. Pradhan (Chair, ISROSG, IUCN). The MoEF recommended measures for effective conservation and sustainable use of orchids, besides suggesting orchid-based vocations, especially for women and unemployed youth, in consultation with the stakeholders. The major implementable recommendations of the conference include:
- Drafting an action plan for the conservation of orchid diversity, based on taxonomic and genetic-evolutionary approaches
- Conducting interdisciplinary research on the reproductive biology and ecology of orchids, with emphasis on pollination and seed biology, thereby stressing on the need to conserve pollinators along with orchids (a select group of five experts may be appointed for the purpose)
- Preparing a status report and drawing up an R&D road map for commercialization and marketing of orchids, relying on biotechnological applications, participation of local communities and creation of microenterprises
- Initiating an All India Coordinated Network Programme on Orchids – PROJECT ORCHID.
Mammals can be identified by the presence in females of mammary glands that produce milk for offspring. Mammals are warm-blooded vertebrates with sweat glands, hair, three middle ear bones, and a neocortex region in the brain. Their gradual evolution from mammal-like “reptiles” called “synapsids” spanned about 70 million years. The first clear evidence of fully mammalian jaw joints and middle ears was found about 200 million years ago; mid-Jurassic fossils show early evidence of hair or fur; and lactation occurred in monotremes, egg-layers that urinated, defecated, and reproduced through a single hole, though not at the same time. They are believed to have secreted milk not from nipples but through a hairy patch on their bellies. (The platypus and four echidna species are the sole surviving mammalian egg-layers.) Mammals now encompass approximately 5,400 species, including humans.
Globally, 1,142 species of mammals, or about 20 percent of the total 5,490 described mammal species, were deemed endangered or vulnerable to extinction by IUCN’s 2009 Red List. Thirty-seven mammal species risk extinction in the United States, or about 9 percent of the total.
Each day we will talk about one of those endangered mammals in the first series.!!!
Maverickvedam's Blog 
