Guys no pun intended, this is only for FUN, so read and enjoy!!! To all who understand the Hyderabadi Tehzeeb and andaaz!!!

In Hyderabad we have our own little Johnny. His name is Howla. His
father is ambitious to educate Howla. Howla goes to school in Tappa
Chabutra. Its principal was educated in Urdu high school and claims
that he passed tenth class! There is a school inspection the next day
and the conversation is as follows:

Teacher: Kal inispector ayinga. Kochanaa (questions) puchinga. Sab
achaa padkey aau. Koi galath answer deengaa naa tho main uske pairaan
thodtoom.

Howla: Iski maakki. Kyun aara inispector? Kaam nai hai usku? Kya
kochanaa puchta kathey?

Teacher : Abey tereku kaiku re, tu kal school aanaaich nai. Tu tera
moo khola to gaaliaan nikaltey. Tereku main absent nai daalthaum. Ghar
pe baithkey gotiyaan khel. Tu school aayingaa to inispector ke saamney
mere izzat ki biryaani karke khaaingaa tu.

So our Howla is excited, goes home and tells his father that he is not
going to school the next day.

Father: Yeah kyaa hai. ischool hai paan ka dabba hai? Gaand pe
maartaun(kick u on butt) saale tu ischool nai gaya to.

Howla: Arey Bava, mera teacher bola nakko aao bolke.

Father: Usku akhal hai? Begum suno! Howla ischool nai jayinga kathey
kal. Agar ischool nai gaya to kaise padhinga? Howla, agar tu kal
ischool nahin gaya naa, tere haathan pairaan thod daaltaum.

So Howla cries and finally agrees to go to school. Next day in school,
Teacher is very upset to see Howla back:

Teacher: Arey teri maakki. Nakko aao bole to bhi kaiko aaya re ?

Howla: Mera bava gaand phodtum bola ischool nai gaya to.

Teacher: offho?! Tera bava bola? Theek hai chal. Last bench pe baith
aur inispector aya to chchup jaa. Dikhnaich nai. Kuch bhi gadbad
karinga naa meri noukri lag jayingi.

So Howla goes to sit in the last bench hiding behind a tall guy.
Inspector comes for the visit.

Inspector: Adaab.

Teacher: Adaab saab. Bachen acha padrain saab. Kochchanaa puchey to
answeraan yun bolte.

Inspector: Abaa? Offo! Ithney kilever hai aapke bachchey? Achchaa, ek
bahuth easy sawaal – Hamarey body mein sab se nazook cheez kaun si
hai?

Teacher: Arey Imtiyaz tu bata rey!

Imtiyaz: Saab, Khaleja saab.

Inspector: Aisa! ….. woh kyun?

Imtiyaz: Saab, khaleja hai to sab kuch hota. Agar woh gaya naa, kuch
bhi nahin hota saab.

Inspector: Abaa, kya tez potta hai rey! Aur koi?

Teacher: Arey Akram, tu bata re.

Akram: Saab bheja saab. Bhejey ku khuch bhi hua to kuch yaad nahin
rehta saab. Haathaan pairaan kaam nai karthey, iscooter ku kick bhi
nai maar sakthey saab.

Inspector: Abey Teacher, kya kya padaaraa re inku tu. Chutiye ke
jaiseich answeraan bolrai naa!!

In the meantime Howla is trying very hard to hide but Inspector sees
him. He thinks Howla is hiding because he does not know the answer.

Inspector : Woh last bench pe yun jhuk ke baithaa naa woh pottey ka
naam kya hai?

Teacher: kaun saab? …….Woh! (iski bhain ku, kaiku dikhaa re tu)
Who Howla hai saab.

Inspector: Howla? Ye kya naam hai? Kahan-kahan se lagaathey re bhai
naamaan! Howla, woh lambu ke peechchey kaiku chchup raa tu?

Howla: Saab main moo khola to teacher maaringa saab.

Inspector: Tereku yaa mereku??

Teacher: Arey kya baath kar reh saab, main kaiku maarthaum aapku. Ye
potta ekdam badmaash hai saab, jhoot bolraa. Abey Howla, answer maloom
hain to bol nai tho khaamoosh baith jaa mere baap tere pau padthaum.

Howla: Saab sabse nazook cheez apne body mein Gaand hai saab.

Teacher: Allah!! Iney moo khola meri gaand lag gayi re!!!

Inspector: Abey kyaa to bhi bolra re! Sharam kar badon ke saamney
aisaich baathaan karthey! Yeich sikhaaye tumhaarey amma-bavaa? Gaand
kahaan kaa answer hai re?

Howla: Hau saab, gaand ich sabse naazook cheez hai. Kaiku boletho
wahaan pe dilli mein baamb phat tha …Yahan Hydrabad mein apni gaand
phat thi … ..Yahaan old city mein gadbadaan shuru hothey…wahaan
new city mein sabki gaand phat thi. Uttaa kaiku saab, main yeh answer
bolraun naa, mere teacher ki gaand phatri dekho!!!!

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