I read this in a web page somewhere and could not control laughing – more for the reason that I have used a few of these phrases to overcome embarrassing situations and where I was caught without any data but need to gain time…..

  • “It has long been known” – I didn’t look up the original reference.
  • “A definite trend is evident” – These data are practically meaningless.
  • “While it has not been possible to provide definite answers to the questions” – An unsuccessful experiment but I still hope to get it published.
  • “Three of the samples were chosen for detailed study” – The other results didn’t make any sense.
  • “Typical results are shown” – 1 This is the prettiest graph. 2 The best results are shown.
  • “These results will be in a subsequent report” – I might get around to this sometime, if pushed/funded.
  • “In my experience” – Once.

  • “In case after case” – Twice.

  • “In a series of cases” – Thrice.

  • “It is believed that” – I think.

  • “It is generally believed that” – A couple of others think so, too.

  • “Correct within an order of magnitude” – Wrong.

  • “According to statistical analysis” – Rumor has it.

  • “A statistically-oriented projection of the significance of these findings” – A wild guess.

  • “A careful analysis of obtainable data” – Three pages of notes were obliterated when I knocked over a glass iced tea.

  • “It is clear that much additional work will be required before a complete understanding of this phenomenon occurs” – 1 I don’t understand it. 2 I need more grant money. 3 I can get at least one more paper out of this.

  • “After additional study by my colleagues” – They dont understand it either.

  • “Thanks are due to Joe Blotz for assistance with the experiment and to Cindy Adams for valuable discussions” – Mr. Blotz did the work and Ms. Adams explained to me what it meant.

  • “A highly significant area for exploratory study” – A totally useless topic selected by my committee.

  • “Handled with extreme care during the experiments” – Not dropped on the floor.

  • “Presumably at longer times” – I didn’t take the time to find out.

  • “This paper will omit a review of the more recent literature in favor of” – I don’t know if anything has been written on this since my dissertation.

  • “Various authorities agree” – I overheard this in the hall.

  • “It was observed that” – One of my students noticed that “No discussion would be complete without reference to the contributions of” – I need another footnote on this page.

  • “This research has left many questions unanswered.” – I didnt find anything of significance.

  • “This finding has not yet been incorporated into general theory” – Perhaps my next graduate student will make sense of it.
  • “It is hoped that this study will stimulate further investigation in this field” – I quit.

Read and enjoy……

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